So I'm uploading some files, and I'm up WAAAY too late to be blogging on a day when I've thought way too much. But here I am. Thinking. And awake.
I've been thinking about 'enough.' What that means, and how so often I compare myself to it. And it's not even anything tangible, but something I desire greatly to be. All too often I feel like I'm chasing the horizon, but don't even know what is so great about getting past it.
I feel like '
enough' sits on my shoulder every day and wishers into my ear all the things that it's defeating me with.
You're not creative
enough,
you're not positive
enough,
you're not happy
enough,
you're not thin
enough.
You don't get
enough sleep (which probably is true...),
you don't have
enough (which I KNOW is not true),
you don't give
enough,
you don't pay
enough attention,
you don't take Pete on
enough walks,
you don't cook
enough,
you don't save
enough,
you haven't done
enough of your Christmas shopping,
you don't work
enough,
you don't shave your legs
enough,
you don't remember
enough.
You're not kind
enough,
you're not tidy
enough,
you're not open
enough,
you're not funny
enough,
you're not a good
enough speller.
And then he gets personal:
you're not a good
enough wife,
you're not a good
enough photographer,
you're not a good
enough friend.
Enough, I think you're pretty exhausting. And as I type this, I don't know why I spend so much energy focusing on you.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes, if not all the time. And I invite you to repeat after me:
Dear Enough:
If you would kindly step out of my brain, I would be greatly obliged. Consider this your eviction. Thank you and good riddens.
xoxo me