Saturday, October 16, 2010

Can You Still Feel the Butterflies?

I have a terrible memory. Terrible.

But, I have sense memories sometimes that are very vivid. Like, if you smell a certain smell, it makes you think of a certain memory and feeling?

One of my sense memories is when I hear "For Me this is Heaven" from the Clarity album by Jimmy Eat World. One of my most favorite albums. The best from Jimmy, in my opinion. Ryan and I were driving back from Tulsa tonight after a fabulous photoshoot (be watching for it on the pro blog soon!)

Although Ryan and I danced to The Luckiest by Ben Folds at our wedding, I would say "For Me this is Heaven" is our song.

But it's not necessarily the memory that I have attached to that song. When I hear that song, it takes me back to my first semester of Senior year. That semester I was taking 16 hours (which in art class world, that's really more like 21 hour class time since art classes are 6 hours a week). But that semester I was taking wood block print making.

I wasn't actually very good at it, but I loved it. LOVED IT. Creating art is something very satisfying to me, because it's creating something meaningful out of non meaningful things. Meaning, when I have a paintbrush and canvas and paints, they don't have meaning. But using them all as tools together, it can become something that has feeling and movement and meaning. And there was something about carving layers and layers into a piece of wood, and then using a press the size of a large closet to print it, and it is all a little bit of mystery to how it is going to turn out, that is totally and utterly appealing to me.

I specifically remember one night when I was alone with the gigantor press, just him and me and my Jimmy Eat World cd. And I had my cute little apron on, messy with ink, rolling papers through the press. And I was completely content. And there aren't many times in my life that I can remember being completely and utterly happy in the spot that I am.

I tend to be one of those people who looks 4 steps ahead. I can't wait until I get a real house, and then when I'm there, I can't wait until I get a house that I like better, and then I'm sure I won't be able to wait until I move into a neighborhood that has a better school district. Or, I really want to book one wedding this  year, but I won't really feel validated until I book 15 in a year, and then I need to get a studio, and then I'll be a real photographer.

Anyway, that's why I love that song. It reminds me that sometimes I need to just be happy where I am.

Do any of you have sense memories??

1 comment:

  1. The song "What's Going On" by 4 Non Blondes takes me back to high school - specifically to one particular band trip. Or the Wallflowers "One Headlight" from my first semester in college when a friend and I would play Tetris for hours on her original NES to that song on repeat.

    There are some foods, too, that take me back. Certain tastes remind me of home. Like a moist cornbread.